Because I was truly tired. And isn't in the brightest mood I have.
The whole day, I simply had no energy.
In MACC class, I was yawning throughout. Although I tried to stay focus and pay attention to her class.
I was really trying. Every day.
Macc ended an hour earlier. Went to eat lunch and stared stocks again. And I slept during lunch.
Then lecture.
Then stayed back again after school.
And I slept.
Sheila saw how tired I was, and told me I could go home if I want to, because she said she could handle it herself. But I chose not to, since I'm already there. Might as well just stay and do my own work. Any time something happens, we can just decide together immediately.
And we ended the day without doing anything.
And then Shu Ying called me asking me to go find her as her class ended.
And I went and find her with my really dead tired self. And she kept asking me questions about our project and test paper. And I couldn't reply her because...I really couldn't think.
I felt so stupid inside. And I apologized to her but she said it's okay, she could see how tired I was.
Why am I so tired?
1. Always waking up early at 8am+ to get ready for the market opening, plus not getting at least 8 hours of sleep.
2. Stressing over stocks all day.
3. The constant worry and anxiety about my graduation at stake.
4. Because of number 3, I've been spending all my mental energy focusing and copying down the notes in lectures and tutorials.
5.Emotionally drained.
See, I don't even have the energy to write in detail what happened today, like I usually do with all my other posts.
But today is normal.
Except that last part I guess. Going back home. Was really stressful, as Shu Ying bombarded me with questions and I couldn't answer.
I came back home and cried from all the emotional stress I had.
And I'm supposed to meet Jie Ling (primary school friend) for dinner later at Subway yew tee point, since I don't want to travel as I have school tomorrow. (At first we agreed to eat at Mos Burger, but she had to work OT since she came to work late ytd, and it's already late at 7.15pm later so just eat at Yew Tee)
Jie Ling, after so long, still takes time out to meet me, and wants to see me as much as I want to see her.
That just made me teared even more.
And she said I made her teared back XDDD because despite how tired I am from school, I still took time off to meet her too.
Hopefully I don't cry infront of her later, when I'm in such an emotional wreck now. Hahahaha
(Update 10pm): I'm back home now!! Showered too.
Yay, I met Jie Ling for dinner!! :D
And one of my nicest, sweetest friends I've known. Who is very very caring, and I try to be the same to her XD
Ahhh I did my best to smile and be cheerful (externally, because I'm genuinely happy to see her), but unfortunately I was too tired inside, the fatigue is obvious on my face HAHAHA 我的黑眼圈 :ccc
I just didn't want to appear like shit in front of her.
Basically caught up with each other's lives and talk about our worries with each other. More like, I'm the one telling her my school problems XD She didn't really have as much problems as me now because she finished her A levels (she went JC) and is now working part time while waiting for her A level results.
She told me that it's going to be okay. I'm going to be fine, and it won't be so bad. And she believes in me. And I told her the same for her A level results. Something like that.
We met at 7.30pm, and left an hour later. Quite a short meet-up, but already thankful and glad just to see her. We hugged before we parted too, and it gave me morale support and lifted my spirits up. After that, I felt like I have energy to face another day tomorrow again.
Ahh tomorrow is going to end late. Because after school (investment class ends at 3pm, provided that Mr Kenneth Tai don't pua stunt us and leave my class stranded outside again like last week >:C), I will go meet Shu Ying and rest of friends at hilltop library, as we plan to eat at Swensens at Clementi for dinner to celebrate Fathima's birthday.
Tired tired. Going to sleep. Zzzzzz
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