Rienx's naive view of the world: Bad news - Will I be able to graduate? (literally) / AFA CA2 paper

Hello.

Yeah, as you can see from the title, I got some really bad news this morning after MACC class.
MACC class proceeded as normal. (each of us taking turns to present questions for participation marks, and doing additional exercise)
While we're doing additional exercise, Sheila tapped my chair and told me she wants to sell the SS shares since it's finally rising (at $0.815 now). However, I saw that the profit ($54.69) is not enough to cover our transaction cost ($69.60), so we'll still lose. I tried to tell her that, but she was apparently too anxious to sell it now before it drops again. That time, I was tired from thinking about the additional exercise, so I just told her she could sell if she wants to. But then, I whatsapped my friend (who asked us to buy SS shares), and she told me we should wait until the price hits $0.825 before selling.
I then told Sheila, who agreed reluctantly XDD

It then ended quite early in just 2 hours, since we didn't have break, so we could end earlier and have more time to study for AFA test later in the evening.
As I packed up, and got ready to leave the classroom, I saw my teacher leaving the classroom at the same time as me. She saw me, smiled at me, but then she said that she had something to tell me.
Immediately, I already knew what it was about. There's nothing else she can tell me, but my grades right?

Of course I was right. Because I myself know that I'm not doing well in MACC.

And I also knew what it will be when she wants to talk about my grades. Teachers are not concerned about you if you're doing well. There's no reason to talk to you if you're scoring As, except to commend you.

Yes. Just like calling up a child's parents if the child is doing badly in school, except this time it's telling the "child" directly that they're not doing well in school at all since it's poly and we're all young adults,
She told me that I did very badly for the MST paper, and my marks are currently treading below 50, which is the passing mark. After that, she told me I have to buck up, as this is my last term before I graduate, and I wouldn't want to fail this module and retain in school to repeat right?

It was just a very short, couple of minutes talk.

But the moment the words registered in my mind, I instantly felt like my whole world crashed. This situation is real. I'm in danger of retaining in school. I wouldn't be able to graduate and get out of school.
All at once, many many thoughts swirled in my mind. I tried to keep a poker face all the time, but I don't know how successful I was doing that. After mumbling a "goodbye" to her, I headed to the toilet as I intended to pee.
But as I shut the cubicle door and sat down, I started to cry silently.
This happened in AFA too. I got 66%, the lowest in class, and the teacher told me I have to work harder.
This happened in investment too. Worse. I got only 60%, (but the teacher didn't tell me anything).

The fear, worry, anxiousness, panic, it was all real.

I'm in danger of being retained.

I felt so lost after that. I just sat on the toilet bowl and cried.

But I knew I have to go home and study. For AFA test later.

After making sure my face is dry, I got out of the toilet. By then, nobody was left outside. My classmates either all went to eat or went home too. (Today only half the class came)

I headed back to the station and took the MRT home.

On the way back, I saw there's an engineering fair going on:

In the train, I told Shinobu what happened, and he tried his best to console and comfort me.

I literally started crying again when I read his words. The reassurance I need now T_T

Thank you Shinobu. I will never forget your words. And I'm putting it up here so I'll always remember it.

Yeah. I took it really badly. I cried once in the toilet, and again in the train back home.
To be honest, I'm really lost now. Still lost. I also know now that it's not even certain that I'll be able to graduate in May.
But like Shinobu said. It's up to me to make it certain that I'll be able to graduate.
This is really like my final trial of poly stage in my life now. Do I have the strength, the will to create my own path out of the poly stage and move on in life?

I'm very, very scared. I'm very worried. I don't know if I can do this.

Even if I don't know, I have to keep going.

It's okay. Everything's going to be okay.

I know that I don't know if I can do this. But I'll always tell myself that it's okay. I can do this.

I know I'm scared. But I tell myself I have to be brave.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Anyway after reaching Yew Tee,I decided to get pasta for lunch today.
The stall:

The menu. You can enlarge it and zoom to see.

ALL THE CHICKEN IT HAS :DDDDDDDD It must be really good, because I always see it all sold out by the end of the day :O

Got the cream chicken mushroom spaghetti for $6.90. It's actually quite good, on my personal opinion. I rarely see people get spaghetti from this stall (always see them ordering the chicken rice instead), but to me it's quite good.

Okay that's it, I can't blog anymore. I have to start revising AFA for later, and I don't have much time left as I need to leave the house at 3pm to meet my friend (It's 1pm now)

(Update 7.30pm): Came to school around 3.40pm to find my friend, whose class ended 10 minutes before.
Met her and classmates downstairs outside social hub. Along the way, I saw groups of Fuhua Sec Sch kids (yes they're kids to me) touring around the engineering and aerohub school fair (added a pic of it earlier up this post). I see, so when I saw it this morning, the people were still preparing, and later in the afternoon, the schools will bring their kids to tour it. My friend was from Fuhua sec, so I told her about them.
Sat with them and occasionally joined in their conversation, but I was mostly staring at my notes. Then we left to the exam venue.

During the paper, I was doing fine at first.
But I came towards the end. And I knew I was screwed. So badly.
I. Couldn't. Calculate. The. Purchase. Value. Of. The. Equipment. !!!!!!!!
That was the start of it all.
That led to my downfall.
As a result, I couldn't calculate the difference of the depreciation.
Couldn't calculate accumulated depreciation.
Couldn't calculate NCI.
Couldn't calculate Beg RE at the end.
Couldn't finish up the consolidation worksheet behind.

I know you told me to work harder, teacher.
But I couldn't do it.
It's not that I don't understand what you thought, it's more like...my fundamentals are bad. I can't work out the value myself.

Plus I forgot to bring a watch. The stress is more.
I have no idea how much time I have left.

At the end of the paper, all my classmates were saying how they're screwed.
But I know they're not.
I know they'll eventually still get at least a B.

But I know I'm really screwed.
I know the maximum I can get is a C.

And I'm already playing scenes in my head, about how my AFA teacher is going to confront me just like my MACC teacher did this morning, and told me how my marks are so bad I'm in danger of retainment again.

Haha I must've looked so bad, because one of my friends even noticed my face and said I looked depressed.
I told Shinobu about it on the way back in the train, and he consoled me again. Really thankful for this guy. Him being there at leasts stops my thoughts from going crazy.

Anyway.

I caught some beautiful sky pics otw home :3~