Rienx's rambles

Yes, I did something stupid again.
Yes, it was my fault that I hit my sister first.
Yes, I'm the one that has to apologise first for every real conflict I get into, as usual.
Yes yes yes, I'm not nice to talk to, I'm hard to approach, I turn people away, I'm ugly, and I rarely talk.
God knows why was I even born.
It's times like this that makes me wish that I wasn't born at all.
Yes, then I'm being insensitive to the millions of babies who died in their mothers' wombs before they even had a chance to see the world.
Okay, so I apologised.
Yet you're still so bitter with me.
Fine.
I can't do anything anymore.

Anyway, I have more important things to worry about. The world doesn't revolve around you.
I am pretty, pretty certain that my random heart palpitations are caused by stress and anxiety that I'm feeling.
Maybe I'm just feeling a bit more stress and anxiety than usual that causes my heart to have irregular rythm.
Yes, that's it.
 Nothing more.

 Nothing more.

 If not, fate decided that maybe it actually doesn't really need me in this world at all, so it decided that it will kill me with some random, sudden heart attack or something.
But I never inherited nor developed any heart condition(although my mother has a history of heart condition when she was young), and I think I never did until now.
So these heart palpitations must be due to stress.
Yes.
Nothing more.

Nothing more.

And now I just want to sleep and forget everything that's happened today.
I want to wake up and go to school tomorrow(Even if I don't want to) and forget everything that happened yesterday.
I want to forget about the fight with my sister.
I want to forget about my heart.
I want to concentrate in school and distract me from all the bitter things that I'm feeling now...